'Heart or Brain?'

had this really random dream that woke me up in tears.. it may sound really dumb so be prepared first before you even start to read okay? or maybe just skip the entire post, the choice is up to you..

Its about me having some sort of cancer and my mom told me that its near the last stage.. the only thing i could do is either to cut off both of my hands or to lose my life.. I knew that the right thing to do was to give up the hands i had with me for the past 15 years.. But my heart disallow me to do so.. Is there really a right decision to make between my brain and my heart? i don't know.. i was afraid at that point of time, what could i do without my hands? isn't it the same as just wasting your time away on this earth waiting for the day in which someone takes your life away.. Or rather, is there really a difference between living in such a useless way and death? i stared at my mum, she was crying.. she was blaming about how unfair life is.. i wipe away her tears with those hands of mine.. maybe this is the very last thing i could do for her, no matter which decision i would be following.. Then, i begged her to kill me, as this is the only way to free everyone from all the sufferings.. Only then, i cried..

then i woke up, only to realised that everything was a dream.. but the tears just kept flowing and i asked myself, is this the decision i would still make in real life? Then, i stared at my hands and tried moving them again.. some very minor things you would have even forgotten most of the times, be appreciative that we are still alive, fine and good..