Until today, injection is just something that appears on my lecture notes. Just one of the many things I have to memorize to score my ace. As much as i hate to admit, it gets irritating sometimes.


Till today.

Due to unlimited stupidity(yes i know!), I paid a visit to the doctor and had to take an anesthesia to numb my toe. And everything suddenly just don't make sense anymore. As a pharmacist-to-be, I was supposed to be able to predict what will happen when the injection came in. Well, here's the magic word -- 'supposed'.

What I thought I knew:
there's 4 ways to inject the med into your body, there'll be pain and bruises.

What I didn't know:
The fear of when you can no longer feel your body, the loss when you could no longer control it, the vulnerability when you sat there alone wondering exactly what could happen to you next. The pain that penetrates when the needle was inserted, the blood, the bruises and the swelling.

Things may be exaggerated a  little since it is just a toe, but for a low-pain-tolerance guniang like me, that was really it. Whatever nonsense we think are on our notes, they are real. People are suffering such pain, if not worse, every single day. People are holding on to this pain for survival. The pathogens and medications that just looked like a chunk of words on the paper, they are killing and saving people the same time that I am typing this. Those brave souls fighting their own battles out there, there's only so much we can do for them. And for our so limited ability, we want to give it our best, and this includes our support (thanks to the auntie who offered me so much consolation when I was so scared).

It's not for the tests, we are doing all of these for the people whom we can possibly make them feel better.
Yes, I know my effort is limited unlike my stupidity, but I will do my best.

It'll all be worth it.