Self-confession:

I think I am hostile to people whom I don't know well... Tend to be overly diplomatic (depending on my mood) and I won't truly want to reveal my truthful side to you unless you've shown me something about yourself too. Unlike my siblings who can talk to literally everyone and be best friends with taxi drivers on the road and make people feel damn comfortable, I tend to keep to myself more and only talk about really superficial stuffs, giving the damn cold and hostile feeling although I really don't mean anything. Haha, guess I've become more defensive as I grow up, building more walls between people  than I intend to... 

Although I have no idea why I am even typing this down, but it seems to be the lack of self-confidence.

I need to be better, and I will. 

To people whom I feel fake to, please believe me that when I am not smiling or not talking to you, I am not intending to make you feel sad or anything, I just truly not know how to approach you appropriately. 

And for those who remained despite the fence I built ( and managed to tarnish the wall), thanks for staying by my side despite me being so imperfect.

I will really be better.