There comes some point in time when you are just so sick and tired of everything, and that all you want to do is to cover yourself with an invisible cloak. 'Poof!' you disappear from everyone's vision. So long as you stay within your small little corner, away from the crowd, nobody can ever find you. Just lie there quietly and watch the fluffy clouds drift slowly across the warm blue sky. Stretch your hands and the whole world is within an arm's length. There'll be no second guessing, disappointment, lies and broken hearts. All you need to do is to speak the truth and be yourself. Under that little protective cloak, you are free to do whatever you want.

Sorry, I am suffering from serious birthday blues now. Probably my last post before crossing the line to become an adult. Guilty of not accomplishing much throughout the 19 years of my life , lost from all the unknowns my future may bring, yet grateful for those I've unreasonably gained during the course of my life. Have been reflecting a lot lately especially during today's lectures when my brain is no longer working.

You know, I tried to tell myself that perhaps I was never fated to be a doctor. Maybe I was a doctor in my previous life and had accidentally caused more harm than good. That's probably why when I had the my second chance this life, someone had answered to my prayers to let me contribute by not contributing. People started gaining courage and venture into the outside world for their dreams, but I choose to hide in my little cloak, in the small dark corner, pretending that I can still have everything in that pathetic palm of mine.

Hence, my 20th birthday to myself is this: Courage.
To take off that little cloak and to look at how bright the sun truly is. To be myself even without the cloak. To find a new goal to this life.